Our Egos and Us

It is difficult or rather impossible to bring broken relationships back on track mainly due to the egos of the two people involved. The pride and ego of both the people stops them from forgiving and forgetting, and patching up. But once your swallow your pride and rush your ego, you will realize how easy it is to get back the relationship to were it was.

The most difficult aspect of crushing your ego is admitting that you were wrong, and basically, taking responsibility with whatever went wrong with the relationship. But if you are looking for an ideal relationship, then your ego will have go out of the window. If your partner has hurt your ego, then the most sensible thing to do will be to forgive your ex for it. There is no need to jeopardize a healthy and loving relationship because of an ego hassle. Even if your ex has hurt you a lot, you must forgive him or her for the sake of your relationship.

Ignoring a lot of things or not taking a lot of what your ex said to you in the heat of the moment can do a relationship a lot of good. Focus instead on the positive aspects of your relationship, along with your partner’s positive qualities. If you do this, your ex might also be inspired to follow suit, therefore creating a conducive environment for your relationship to blossom even further. You will then be ready to take your relationship to the next level.

If, however, you are the one who has said hurtful thing to your partner, then you must crush your ego and go and apologize to him or her. Do not be ashamed of saying that you are sorry and that you regret your words and actions. Explain your words to your ex in a cam and composed manner. Make sure that you do not lie or keep anything away from your ex. It is likely that he or she appreciates the honesty in you and the effort you are making in trying to save the relationship.

No matter how difficult it is to speak to your ex about your mistakes, acknowledging them out in the open is a courageous thing to do. Give your word to your ex that you will not repeat the mistakes again. While this should normalize your relationship, your ex might not feel so generous on the other hand. You will have to prepare yourself for that eventuality.

We’ve nothing in common – backgrounds, interests, and opinions

Breaking up is one of the most difficult things to do in a relationship. The pain of break-up intense, it becomes unbearable when the heart still wants to be with that person. The mind obviously points towards the reality of the situation. This tug-of-war between the heart and the mind can take a toll on you. Therefore, take the easy way out. Get back with your ex, be it your lover or spouse! If you thought that was an impossible task to land, go ahead and read this. Trust out, you’ll come out a believer.

Often, common backgrounds, interest, and opinions are cited as reasons for perfect compatibility, and therefore, a happy, long-lasting relationship. When a couple does not share interests, opinions, or come from common backgrounds, the two partners tend to get disconcerted by the utter lack of common ground between them. As this difference plays in their mind, they start to drift apart, deepening the wide between them. But this seemingly big problem can be easily solved. The key is to start taking interest in your ex’s interests and hobbies. The important thing to realize here is that having different areas of interest in not a crime, nor a reason for incompatibility. No two individuals are alike. Also, you will only expand your horizon by meeting and interacting with people whose likes and dislikes are different from yours. Taking an interest in your ex’s hobbies might call for a mighty effort on your part, but you know that it is worth the effort. Once you ex sees you trying to take an interest in his or her interests and hobbies, he or she will respect you more for making that effort, and will bond better with you.

At times, differences crop up because two partners are hardly able to agree on anything. While it is not a bad thing to have a mind of your own, you can only salvage your failing relationship by perhaps being less opinionated. If you are trying to get back with your ex, then it might not be a bad thing to agree with your ex every once in a while. Agreeing with the opinion or decision of your ex can be a huge confidence-building measure in your relationship.

Love, as it is famously known, is blind. Therefore, when two people fall in love, a background check is hardly in order. People belonging to different socio-cultural backgrounds get together in a relationship all the time. But as a couple gets on with their lives, the difference in backgrounds creeps in and soon, takes gigantic proportions. So, an extremely important, in fact, the most important thing in a relationship is to respect the roots and cultures of your ex. Asking or expecting your ex to leave behind his or her culture and tradition just to be in the relationship is unfair. Just like you have been true to your roots over these years, your ex has been too.

No physical attraction between us

Lack of physical attraction between two people is known to be the mother of all break-up causes. Men tend to secretly think that their ex-partner or ex-spouse is not sexy enough. Women often get caught in the drudgery of life, and think of dressing up as a task in itself. Gradually, partners loose interest in one another. This affects the sex life which is an integral part of a healthy relationship. So take out those head-turning outfits from the back of your closet, and don them. You will soon become the only thing your ex remembers.

As a woman if you have been ensconced in your own comfortable world where you are wearing tracks and jeans, have stopped making the effort of shaving and almost never wear make-up or perfume. Well, let this be a wake-up call for you. It is a known fact that men like to see beautiful women and if you have not been taking good care of your physical self, then they are bound to ignore you. You will have to make him realize that you are still the hot, attractive girl that your ex fell in love with. And not just that, you can even make him jealous. When other men ogle at you, your ex will naturally feel envious and is likely to appreciate you more. The second crucial thing is to take control of your sex life. Men never say not to sex. So, if your sex life sucks, then you will have to take steps in resuscitate it.

In order to look attractive, staying in shape is essential, both for men and women. Try to remember the last time you worked out in a gym, or went for a jog or run. Can’t remember, can you? So, pick up that gym bag and head for the fitness centre. Chart out a fitness regimen that will increase your endurance level. Working out in the gym will make you lean and fit. It will also lend a brilliant glow to your face. Women must work hard on getting those hidden curves out. Whether you are wearing an itsy-bitsy bikini or a clingy dress at an evening out, all the guys will have eyes only for you. If your ex simmers, let him. A little jealousy will only help you to get him back.

For guys too, reducing that pot belly or tires is crucial. No woman likes to be with a man who is bulky and fat. And they are attracted to washboard abs and biceps like a moth to a flame. So, you know what to do. Also, if you like to roam around in sweaty t-shirts and smelly socks, then no prizes for guessing as to why you lost your love. Take those smart, sexy shirts out of your wardrobe, spray your cologne, and let loose the magic. Your ex is sure to fall for you again hook, line, and sinker.

Maybe the relationship came at a bad time

To Relationships take a hit if either of the partners is not really ready to commit themselves in one. You may feel ready, but you may not be. Or maybe the relationship came at a bad time. This may happen because you may not be able to handle your professional and personal life at the same time. But, you will have fair to yourself and give yourself more time to get used to the demands both the personal and professional lives make on you.

A simple way of doing this is concentrating on your work when you are working, and focusing entirely on your home life when you are at home. You will then be able to handle the pressures of both these lives. You will also be able to keep both your boss and your partner happy. When you are at work, your partner will understand and not press you to spend time with him or her. On the other hand, people at your workplace will appreciate your personal concerns and give you enough time to spend with your loved ones.

But if the lack of this balance has been responsible in ruining your relationship, then may be you can call your ex and let him or her know that now you are adept at handling both the lives together. You will have to convince your ex that he or she holds supreme importance in your live and that his or her concerns will not be sacrificed at the altar of work. At the same time, you will do well to explain to your ex the importance of your work. Make him or her understand that you are working hard to give the both of you a good life, or simply because it is a matter of passion with you.

If work takes you away from your loved one for long periods of time, you can either offer to take your ex with you. This way you will be able to spend some time together when you are not working. If this arrangement cannot be worked out, then you should remember to call your ex from out-of-town. Tell them that you miss him or her. If you are working long hours, then make a quick phone call to your ex to tell him or her that you love them. Return home with a small gift for your ex. This gift could be a box of chocolates, tickets to a movie or opera over the weekend, or just some flowers. This is sure to make your ex realize how much you value him or her. These steps will also bring out your romantic side which you may have forgotten earlier due to the pressure of work.

On the other hand, if you have the one in the relationship to suffer because of your partner’s workload, then you can mend a broken relationship by trying to be more understanding of his or her work pressures.

Being the other (wo)man

Did your relationship come to an end because either of you were married? Did your partner promise to get divorced but reneged on his or her word? Does your ex also have children? Do you think your ex will be able to leave his or her children? Or does your ex expect you to play the role of a surrogate mother or father to his or her children? If these questions are nagging at you, then you must look for their answers for the sake of your relationship. Especially, in case of children, you must decide if you are ready and willing to take on the responsibility of someone else’s children. If they are yours, you and your kids will have to talk about the prospect of letting a new person into your lives.

Do you really think that this kind of relationship does indeed have a future? Or do you even want to be in such a relationship? You must understand that your ex was already cheating on his or her life partner; therefore, he or she is not likely to have much credibility anyways. Do you feel you can trust this person? If you have been tilting towards giving this relationship another at the behest of your ex, then it is advisable that you do so only if some new and favorable development has taken place. If your ex has initiated the process of separation from his or her spouse, then you can think of getting back with him or her. In case you ex is working to get his or her marriage annulled, then, you should wait till the annulment has been finalized. After the separation has come about, your ex and you can talk about a life together.

On the other hand, if you are the one who is married but wants to get back to your ex, a divorce proceeding will have to initiated. Without a divorce, there is no point in harboring dreams of your ex and you together. Getting a divorce is also important because this step will give your ex the confidence he or she needs to have in you, also it is reflective of the honesty of your intentions towards him or her. In case you have children who will be with you after you separate from your spouse, then like mentioned earlier, you will need to sit and explain the situation to your children. They will have to get used to having a new person in the house every day of their lives.

A heart-to-heart chat with your ex is also in order. He or she will have to accept your kids as his or her responsibility, and shower them with the same kind of love and affection as you do. He or she too, will have to get used to having kids around him or her all the time, as well as taking on the responsibilities that come with raising children. Do not, in any case, compromise the safety or the future of your children in a bid to get your love back. It is not worth the effort.

Addicted to…well, the wrong things in life

Did your break-up come about because either you or your partner was suffering from an addiction problem? If you want to get back with your ex, then first ascertain that the addiction has been removed from the equation. You must only try and get back with your ex if you have been fully cured of your addiction. If it was your partner, then make sure that he or she is now completely free of the addiction.

If you are trying to get back with your ex who was addicted to smoking, drinking, or drugs, and if that person has now overcome this addiction, then you must first go and let him or her know you that appreciate this great step taken by them. You must tell them how proud you are of them. Such words of appreciation are sure to give your ex a renewed sense of confidence. You should also tell you ex that you are happy that he or she will finally be able to lead a normal life, and enjoy the benign gifts of life. See if the time is right, and if it is, then express your desire of reviving your relationship with him or her.


Although your ex is most likely to be ecstatic at the thought of the two of you getting back, you must not get disheartened if his or her answer is a resolute ‘no’. There can be two probable reasons for a negative answer in this case. First, your ex has met someone else. Or he or she finds the experience of addiction and then rehab too embarrassing to commit him or herself in a relationship. In case of former, there is not much you can do about the situation but wish your ex all the best in his or her ‘new’ life. But if latter is the reason then maybe you can try to convince your ex about the idea of getting back together, you can instill some confidence and self-esteem in him or her and them your ex and you are still very much in love with him or her.

These arguments should be enough to make your ex realize how much he or she means to you.

In another scenario of your partner breaking up with you due to your addiction problems, you must first seek counseling about your situation and get enrolled in a rehab center. Once you have been detoxified, only then should you think about your relationship. But in case you addiction continues, then, you can give up all hopes of getting back with your ex.

No one wants to spend his or her life with a habitual smoker, drinker, or a drug addict. Only when you are completely cured of your addiction should you make any contact with your ex. Tell him or her that you are no longer a slave to any sort of addiction, and are working towards a normal, healthy life. While you are at it, you must also reveal your desire to get the relationship back to where you it was. You must make your ex see your true feelings for him or her. Maybe if you are completely honest about your situation and your love for your ex, he or she might consider picking up the relationship from where you two left it.

Personal Development to cure Addiction

Ten-step crash course to patching up with your Ex

 You have just broken up with your partner, and now you are missing him or her a lot. You are desperate to get back with your ex. You may think you are the only person in this world to experience such terrible heartache, but you are not. In fact, no good will come out of getting disheartened. Many a broken relationships have been salvaged with a little enterprise. Here is a 10-step guide to getting your ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, or even ex spouse back.

1. Let’s be friends:

This is one of the most effective ways of getting your ex back. Your ex will expect you to mop over him or her, be depressed, and even beg him or her to return to your life. Surprise him or her by doing no such thing. In fact, go out and socialize. Give the impression that you have completely ‘moved on’ after him or her, and do have a life of your own. This is sure to take him or her aback. While you play the ‘I am over you’ role to perfection, also let your ex know that you hold no grudges against him or her for breaking up with you. Instead, tell him or her that you should be friends due to all the good times the two of you shared together. Call your ex every once in a while in a ‘friendly’ way, and while you are doing this, also subtly mention the subjects that your ex finds interesting. Speak intelligently about them, but do not overdo it. Your seemingly carefree attitude is sure to disturb your ex enough to want you back.

2. Patience is the key:

Whoever said that ‘patience is the key’ sure knew what he or she was talking about. Trying to win your ex back is an onerous task which must be handled with extreme patience. For this, you will have to give your ex time to get over the break-up before you start trying to patch up with him or her. Do not call or try to see your ex too often.

3. Ask your ex out:

Do not be surprised. Since you are still friends with your ex, this should not be a bolt from the blue for him or her. If you want, you can make a common date of it where you invite your common friends also. In case your ex smells a rat and plays hard to get, then may be you can confide in one of your common friends and ask him or her to organize a party where the two of you can meet. When going for this party, make sure you are dressed to kill.
4. Turn head at all times:

Not just at a party where you have conspired to ‘run’ into your ex, you must be dressed to perfection at all times. Pull out all stops while shopping for your mission. Get a makeover if that will make you look great. A stunning hairdo is also likely to invite your ex’s attention, along with that of several others.

5. Talk to your ex:

Opposed to popular notion, flirting with others in front of your ex is a big no-no. This can lead to disastrous results. On the contrary, focus your attention on your ex. Talk to him or her intelligently. Do not overdo the conversation. Keep it light, friendly with no overtones of romance, and humorous.

6. Assert your independence:

If the two of you have been invited to a party together, make sure you bring your own mode of transportation. If the two of you work together, then also make sure that you are taking your own vehicle to work everyday. This is because if you have just broken up, you ex will not want to be seen with you. In this case, it will not augur well for you if you still look up to him or her for conveyance. Show him or her that you are an independent person.

7. Do not stalk:

It is natural to miss your ex, especially after you have broken up with him or her for good. But do not make yourself look pathetic by stalking your ex either by phone or in person. Let him or her be, and lead a normal peaceful life. This is will also show that you have handled the break up with the dignity expected of a sensible person.

8. Do not forget birthdays:

Even after you have broken up, do remember to wish your ex on his or her birthday, or any similar milestone in his or her life. This gesture will make your ex appreciate you more.

9. Be happy:

Break-up can be heart-breaking but it definitely is not the end of life. Take the break-up sportingly. Remain happy and cheerful, once your ex sees you in good spirits even after the break-up, he or she might realize that you have a life of your own to lead, which is not affected by his or her presence in it. He or she might want you back then.

10. Cultivate a new interest:

Do not misread this step. Cultivating a new interest does not mean getting into a new relationship. This means that you must pick up a new hobby or interest to keep you distracted from the heartache that is typical of a break-up.

Also check this out  The Magic Of Making Up (Get Your Ex Back)